It must have been like 10 years ago. I was with a young woman who later became a friend. She was married with a daughter at that time. I often enjoyed her presence and our lessons together.
I learnt a lot about homeliness just watching her. I could feel the warmth anytime I was around her. She also had this calm disposition and a smile that always spoke a thousand words.
But at that time, she had a deep longing in her heart. It was a silent wish to be a mother again. She wished to hold another child in her hands. It was a silent desire and sometimes we spoke about it in our conversations.
Not that she was under any kind of pressure from her husband, but society and cultural influences had quickly put her on the hot seat. Then she got to hear words like, “Madam what are you waiting for now? Have you not had another child since then?”
I can imagine how many of those words she heard in that season of her life. She really wished so much to have another child, but then she said to me on one of those days, ” I have one and I am eternally grateful for her. It will be so unfair of me to let worry drown my soul. What of those women that have none?”
Someone once said to me, “Look at my home, I have all of this and everything I desire. But I truly wish there were children running around playing and laughing, shutting out this silence in her world. ” This was one of her many worries.
Have you ever met a young married woman in dire need of a child [ especially in this part of the world]?
She counts days on the calendars with so much detail. She always asks to know if there is something she is doing wrong. She sits aloof at times and cries her heart out at other times.
She sometimes throws away constraints and starts to seek answers in the wrong places. She is worried sick as the years roll by. But then her miracle seems miles away and silence surrounds her like a river.
Yes, we all have diverse wishes and worries. While one woman wishes for a better marriage, another wishes to feel the beauty of carrying a life inside her.
While one woman wishes for a better life for her children, another worries that she may never know what it feels like to hold a child in her arms.
While one woman wishes to meet the man of her dreams, another worries that singlehood will stay glued to her forever.
And just like your wishes are different from mine, so will our paths and stories also differ. Wishes do come true and sometimes it remains what it is ‘ a wish’.
So while you wish and wait, know that wishes come true and sometimes the universe will go silent.
So while you wish and wait, remember to learn lessons on your journey. Remember to write stories of hope and love. Remember to become a better you, that you may have to give the next generation. And this is “Why you Mother”
And someone asks, What if those wishes never come true? This is what I have to say. Look within and keep living. Look within and keep loving. Look within and keep giving.
And never forget this, “The answer to life’s questions always lies on the table of patience. And in this place we see God as he really is. ”
And this is ‘Why you MOTHER’.
You see life from a different plane.
You have entrusted your life to someone greater.
You live by faith knowing that your future is secure in him.
My friend eventually had two more children after a 9-year wait. She had been through difficult times with her health. Her doctors had given up on her, but then her wish from many years ago showed up. It came unexpectedly as another beautiful daughter. She won this one after many years.
Motherhood is a journey full of wishes, worries and wins. You will have seasons where you worry your guts out. You will have seasons full of silent wishes. You will also have your share of wins where you get to celebrate those priceless moments with the ones you love.
Always remember that on this journey,
Your wishes will always give you hope for a better tomorrow.
Your worries will always give you faith and many reasons to pray.
Your wins will always give you comfort and precious memories to treasure.
And this is ‘ Why you Mother. ‘
Many Hugs,
Ufuoma.
