I have a friend, her pretty face always wore a smile that could light up a dark room. We happened to spend a few years of our lives together while in the University, and yes, I had gotten used to her smiles.
Tasty meals, encouraging words and a cozy home are memories I have of my stay with her. She also talked a lot about her mother and how much she loved her. Her mother was her hero and I never got to meet her.
But then I remember that night over 10 years ago. A Night of Bliss it was, many had come from afar for a miracle in their lives. We stood and listened to the words of the preacher. “Miracles are happening right now”, he said. So my friend and I held hands to pray for her sick mother.
When two or three agree about anything, then it is settled, so the bible says. We trusted God in faith, believing for a miracle of healing for her mother. But God was silent. No words spoken. No answers given.
She waited anxiously for news of her mother’s recovery. She was eager to speak to her mother once again. But then this mommy had bid the earth goodbye long before we held hands to pray that night.
She was writing her exams and her sisters did not want to tear her world apart with the news of their mom’s passing. She only got to know later and I saw those walls in her world come crumbling down.
She cried her eyes out for days. I remember waking up one morning after she got the news, the pillow was soaked up with tears she had cried all night. I wished I had words to console her. Her pain was deep. Many words unspoken. Many memories flashing. Many questions unanswered.
You see this friend’s mommy left a bit too soon. She left and missed many milestones in the lives of her children. Her daughters are left with memories of her lovely smile and portraits of her warmth, grace and goodness.
My friend graduated from the University and her mommy was absent. She got married and mommy was not there. She got a job and began to earn and mommy was nowhere to be found. She had her daughter and mommy was not within reach. She had her son and mommy’s voice is all she could hear in her head. She had many words to speak, many counsels to seek and many gifts to give.
This mommy wished her mother was here to celebrate milestones in their lives. Mommy had looked forward to baking her wedding cake and singing to her grandchildren. And yes, she still misses her sweet singing voice.
Her mommy longed to share in the joy that her children would bring her. But Alas! She left leaving her daughters with only memories and lessons from her own life.
Her mommy left and did not tell her goodbye. Her laughter still sounds loudly in her ears. Her words still act as her guide. Her smile still lights up her soul even in her lowest moments. She still whispers silently to her, ” I wish you were still here.”
This mommy misses her mommy so much. She misses her cuddles and her singing sweet songs. She misses her guidance. She misses her listening ear. She misses her confidant. She misses her best friend. She misses the fact that mommy missed many milestones in their lives.
It will be 15 years tomorrow she left this world. She would have been 65 some days ago. And how time passes quickly. I was present to celebrate some of these milestones with them. Her girls all got married and there are 7 grandchildren she never got to meet. But I know that the seeds she sowed in the hearts of her daughters will forever bear good fruits.
I may never have gotten to see her Mommy’s sweet smile but I got to see many more smiles and also experience her loving and giving spirit through each of her daughters.
This friend’s mommy left and missed many milestones in the lives of her children. But I can see that sometimes we are here to sow, to give and to make memories and impact that can last for a lifetime.
What seeds are you sowing? What unique memories will your children have of you? What value are you giving for your time here? Many mothers will come and go but your unique impact in the lives of your children is that which will always be remembered.
**In loving memory of Mrs Ngozi Ofume, the loving Mother of a good friend.**