What if I never got to feel the excitement that comes with missing ‘Little Miss Red’.
What if I never got to see that ‘double pink line’ that always seems to elude the pregnancy stick, especially when trying for a baby.
What if I never got to feel those tiny flutters in my womb as real life grew inside me.
What if I never got to experience the weariness and joy that comes with carrying a life inside you.
What if I never got to feel that morning sickness that always had me wanting to lay in my bed all day.
What if I never got to see my body change in the most unusual ways before my eyes.
What if I never got to experience what a fast growing waistline looked like.
What if I never got to mumble words to myself, when my clothes would simply not fit anymore.
What if I never got to see what a baby bump looked and felt like, and how quickly it grows with each trimester.
When if I never got to feel that first kick to show me that there was a growing human inside me.
What if I never got to carry my babies through those long 9 months, while awaiting the joy that comes with holding them in my arms.
What if I never got to experience the joy of birthing a life, and the emotions that follow at seeing the miracles I carried in me.
What if I never got to soothe and hold a baby, whose temperature kept rising through the night.
What if I never got the chance to say affirmations with a growing child, and show him how words can build or break him.
What if I never got the chance to hear my little girl tell me, ‘Mummy, I want to hug you. ‘
What if I never got to hear clamping feet and screaming voices, that give life and energy to my home.
What if I never got to hear the words, ‘Mummy’, reminding me always of this great privilege I have been given.
But then,
I did.
I missed ‘Little Miss Red’ after a long wait for another child.
I jumped at the sight of the double pink line, after waiting for years to conceive my 2nd child.
I watched my body change in diverse ways with each trimester and baby.
I endured the discomfort and weariness that comes with carrying a child inside you.
I also felt a deep sense of peace every time my babies kicked inside me.
I touched and rubbed my belly often, as I marvelled at the beauty of carrying a life in me.
I knew how it felt to labour before birthing a child. I also have a scar to show from being cut open to give life to another.
I got to experience the joy of bringing forth a life. And not once but twice. But what if I never got to experience all of this.
The giggles, the hugs, the laughter, the tears, the tiny hands holding you close, the smiles, the prayers, meal times and many priceless memories that will be etched in my heart forever.
But then,
I did and got much more.
Many Hugs,
Ufuoma
