5 Reflective Questions to Help You Refocus as a Mother

What kind of mother will your children remember? Here are 5 Reflective Questions to Help You Refocus as a Mother

Motherhood will always come with its high and low  moments. There will be times when your heart will overflow with gratitude at the opportunity given to nurture and shape lives. But there are also those moments when you just want out of this motherhood journey and need to breathe.

I remember sitting on the toilet floor on one of those days, holding my head and tears streaming down my eyes. I was a first- time mom and was overwhelmed with the demands of a new born baby.

No one really told you about how demanding the role of a mother would be. And you were definitely not given a manual and guide when you began your journey.

But what do you do in those low moments – when you feel like you are done with the whole mess and craziness as a mother, and all you need is a break from it all? How do you deal with the crankiness and frustration that sometimes comes with being a mother?

Why is Motherhood so Draining?

Do you feel like you are losing it mentally right now as a mom? Your soul is weary and your body is worn out. Or perhaps you have become that mom who screams at her child, pushes them aside when they want to spend time with you, just because you feel drained. You want your alone moments back but motherhood is here and now it all seems like a burden to you.

It is true that motherhood will change you in many ways. Your life never really gets back to the way it used to be. But your children are here to stay and the choice to give them the best part of you remains yours to make.

So even when you are losing it or feel like giving up altogether, choose to keep your eyes on the big picture and focus on the seasons in your journey. And in that moment, motherhood becomes a calling. You can give it your best shot and as you nurture and shape the lives that God has put into your hands.

The truth is that your journey in motherhood comes with its own peculiarities, battles and challenges. All of which can leave you drained and mentally exhausted. And sometimes as a mother, you truly need a break from it all – to refresh your minds and bodies, and also to reflect and refocus on your motherhood journey.

And here, that old saying, ‘You cannot give what you do not have’ holds true.

An empty mama heart will have nothing to pour out into her child’s heart.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood right now? Do you feel like you are lost in your tracks on this motherhood journey. Maybe you need a break to breathe, rest and reflect.

Many times, until you sit to find out your ‘why’ as a mother, nothing really makes sense and you will keep going around in circles, with your children left to bear the brunt of it all.

Take some time out this week to reflect on how far you have come – and where you want to be as a mother?

Motherhood comes with a high price. You are a mother and you will always be one. You are called for a purpose and you have been given the capacity to influence generations after you.

5 Questions to Help You Refocus on Your Motherhood Journey

1. How Much Time am I Spending With my Kids?

When you think about time with your kids, think about moments, think about creating memories, think about play, fun and laughter, think about cuddles and bear hugs. Share stories and pray together. Teach them about life using the bible and your own experiences. Build them with your words and invest in their spiritual, emotional and mental growth. Think about how much you could have missed many years later, where time not invested in your child can never be gotten back.

Children never really forget those times and moments you spend with them. Those memories always sit beautifully in their hearts forever.- Unknown

2. Are My Children Experiencing The Best Part of Me?

What part of you do your children get to experience every single day? Grumpy, angry, bitter, sad or lazy. Ask yourself this today – if the part of you the children get to see and experience daily is worth emulating. Let them get to experience joy, learn focus and hard work and nurture their creative abilities just by being around you. You do not want to give your best at work and in church, then come home and leave your child with leftovers of your worn out self.

Your child wants to see and feel you in all of your glory. Will you give them the best part of you today and every other day?

3. Am I a Good Role Model to my Children?

Children are great at mimicking their parents. It is normal to see a little girl want to try out her mom’s high heel shoes and make-up. She wants red lipstick on, just like her mummy.

And have you noticed that if you as a mother hardly brushes her teeth before breakfast, it is only natural to see your child pick up that habit from you. Your children always look up to you to learn about life and the world. Their world view and how they see the world around them will be picked up from conversations and events in the home.

Who you model to your kids today shapes them into the person they become tomorrow – Unknown

It is so easy to teach children the rights and wrongs, but it is always easier to lead by example. Become a worthy model and watch them follow your steps. So, in what ways will you model good and great behavior and habits to your kids today?

4. What Do I Need to Learn and Do to Become a Better Mother?

No one joins the motherhood train with a manual. We all walked in as amateurs willing to learn from our own mothers, grandmothers, mentors, books, stories and hearing other mothers share their experiences.

Motherhood is in seasons and you will always need new knowledge and lessons to walk through each season.

Are you stuck in a rot today as a mom?  Not to worry, there are a whole world of resources to help you out on this motherhood journey.

There are many amazing motherhood blogs, mom bloggers, groups and books to walk you through this path of nurturing and building lives.

You can check out some of these amazing mom bloggers and follow them for tips, ideas and resources on becoming a better mother.


Elna Cain @twinsmommy

Ruth Schwenk @thebettermom

Jennifer @ unveiledwife

Sally @sallyclarkson


Ifeoma Samuel @purposefulandmeaningful


Arica @Achildshallleadthem


5. What Legacy Do You Want to Leave Behind For Your children?

If your child were to write your eulogy after you are gone, what words will he speak forth from his lips? Will his words be a true reflection of the values and impact that you have made in his life?

Every mother has been given the same amount of time to nurture, teach and make an impact in the lives of her children.

Your words, your touch, your counsel, your strength, your wisdom, your faith and your love are the seeds that you are planting in your child’s heart and life every single day.

And as you do these things, remember to paint beautiful pictures of you in their hearts and minds. Let their lives become a true reflection of the values you taught them and their voices, a light that will be handed down to many generations. That is your legacy.

What are those questions that have helped you to refocus on your motherhood journey?

Share this post with your friends!

You may also like...


  1. Maryanne says:

    Beautifully written. You always write from the heart… Thank you so much Ufouma. I learned a lot from this. I feel so powered up…xx

    1. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you got some inspiration to help you refocus your motherhood journey.
      Thank you. Have you downloaded my free -eBook yet?

  2. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you got some inspiration to help you refocus your motherhood journey.
    Thank you. Have you downloaded my free -eBook yet?

  3. Very insightful reflective questions.
    “Are my children experiencing the best part of me?” I need to spend more time reflecting on this particular question and implementing necessary adjustments.
    You are blessed.

    1. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

      I am glad you get to reflect on one of the questions. It is so important for us as mothers to sometimes ask reflective questions to help us refocus on our motherhood journey. Thank you for stopping by.

  4. […] Do not be that mother whose words are like a dagger cutting through the soul of her child? You are slowly breaking down your child’s emotions and leading her to grow up with a battered self-esteem. Or perhaps, you are that mother who has grown passive in her role and has little or no awareness about 21st century parenting. You are in the dark, leaving your children to chance and at the sidelines of life. Get up and arm yourself with tools and resources to help you become a better mother. […]

  5. […] 5 Reflective Questions to Help you Refocus as a Mother […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *