5 Reflective Questions to Help You Refocus as a Mother

Here are 5 Reflective Questions to Help You Refocus as a mother shaping the next generation.

What kind of mother will your children remember?

Are you that mom who hardly spends time with her kids?

Do you miss your sacred alone moments and sometimes take out your frustration on your kids?

Or, do you take each day as it comes with your kids – sharing stories, laughing out loud, making a mess and creating memories that will last for a lifetime?

Motherhood comes with its high and lowΒ  moments. There are times when your heart will overflow with gratitude at the opportunity to nurture and shape lives. But there are also those moments when you just want out and need to breathe.

No one really told you about how demanding and tasking this motherhood job would be. And you were definitely not given a manual and guide when you began your journey as a mother.

But what do you do in those low moments – when you feel like you are done with the whole mess and craziness as a mother, and all you need is a break from it all?

How do you deal with the crankiness and frustration that sometimes comes with being a mother?

It feels like you are losing it mentally right now. Your soul is weary and your body is worn out. Or perhaps you are that mom who is pushing her children away whenever they want to spend time with you because of your fatigued state. You want your alone moments back alongside your dreams, butΒ  motherhood now seems like a burden to you.

It is true that motherhood changes you in many ways, and your life never really gets back to the way it used to be. But your children are here to stay and the choice to give them the best part of you remains yours to make.

So even when you are losing it or feel like giving up altogether, keep your eyes on the big picture. In that place, motherhood becomes a calling, and you are more than willing to give your best and your all in nurturing and shaping the lives God has put in your hands.

Is Motherhood Draining You?

The truth is that your journey in motherhood comes with its own peculiarities, battles and challenges. All of which can leave you drained and mentally exhausted. And sometimes as a mother, you truly need a break from it all – to refresh your minds and bodies, and also to reflect and refocus on your motherhood journey.

And here, that old saying, ‘You cannot give what you do not have’ holds true.

An empty mama heart will have nothing to pour out into her child’s heart.

So, if you are feeling overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood right now, or you are simply lost in your tracks on this motherhood journey, maybe you need a break to breathe, rest and reflect.

What memories of you will your children store in their hearts forever?

Many times, until you sit to find out your ‘why’ as a mother, nothing really makes sense and then you keep going around in circles, with your children left to bear the brunt of it all.

So, are you willing to take some time out to reflect on how far you have come – and where you want to be as a mother?

Motherhood comes with a high price. You are a mother and you will always be one. You are called for a purpose and you have been given the capacity to influence generations after you.


1. How Much Time am I Spending With my Kids?

When you think about time with your kids, think about moments, think about creating memories, think about play, fun and laughter, think about cuddles and bear hugs.

Think about story time and prayer time.
Think about teaching and leading.
Think about building and shaping minds.
Think about all that you would have missed many years later, where time that was wasted or missed, can never be gotten back.

Children never really forget those times and moments you spend with them. Those memories always sit beautifully in their hearts forever.

2. Are My Children Experiencing The Best Part of Me?

What part of you do your children get to experience every single day?

Is it that grumpy, angry, bitter, sad and lazy side of you? Ask yourself, if the part of you the kids get to see and experience daily is worth emulating?

Or do they get to experience joy, learn focus and hard work and nurture their creative abilities just by being around you. Think about it.

You do not want to give your best at work and in church, then come home and leave your child with leftovers of your worn out self.

Your child wants to see and feel you in all of your glory. Will you give them the best part of you today and every other day?

3. Am I a Good Role Model to my Children?

Children are great at mimicking their parents. It is normal to see a little girl wanting to try out her mom’s high heel shoes and make-up. She wants red lipstick on, just like mummy.

Did you notice that if you as a mother hardly brushes her teeth before breakfast, it is only natural to see your child pick up that habit from you. Your children always look up to you and tend to learn about life and the world through you.

What you model to your kids today becomes the person they become tomorrow.

It is so easy to teach children the rights and wrongs, but it is always easier to lead by example. Become a worthy model and watch them follow your steps. So, in what ways will you model good and great behavior and habits to your kids today?

4. What Do I Need to Learn and Do to Become a Better Mother?

No one joins the motherhood train with a manual. We all walked in as amateurs willing to learn from our own mothers, grandmothers, mentors, books, stories and hearing other mothers share their experiences.

Motherhood is in seasons and you will always need new knowledge and lessons to walk through each season.

Are you stuck in a rot?

Not to worry, there is a whole world of resources to help you out on this motherhood journey.

There are many amazing motherhood blogs, mom bloggers, groups and books to walk you through this path of nurturing and building lives.

You can check out some of these amazing mom bloggers and follow them for tips, ideas and resources on becoming a better mother.


Elna Cain @twinsmommy

Ruth Schwenk @thebettermom

Jennifer @ unveiledwife

Sally @sallyclarkson


Ifeoma Samuel @purposefulandmeaningful


Arica @Achildshallleadthem

5. What Legacy Do You Want to Leave Behind For Your children?

If your child were to write your eulogy after you are gone, what words will he speak forth from his lips?

Will his words be a true reflection of the values and impact that you have made in his life?

Every mother has been given the same amount of time to nurture, teach and make an impact in the lives of her children.

Your words, your touch, your counsel, your strength, your wisdom, your faith and your love are the seeds that you are planting in your child’s heart and life every single day.

And as you do these things, remember to paint beautiful pictures of you in their hearts and minds. Let their lives become a true reflection of the values you taught them and their voices, a light that will be handed down to many generations. That is your legacy.

What are those questions that have helped you to refocus on your motherhood journey?

Share this post with your friends!

You may also like...


  1. Maryanne says:

    Beautifully written. You always write from the heart… Thank you so much Ufouma. I learned a lot from this. I feel so powered up…xx

    1. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you got some inspiration to help you refocus your motherhood journey.
      Thank you. Have you downloaded my free -eBook yet?

  2. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you got some inspiration to help you refocus your motherhood journey.
    Thank you. Have you downloaded my free -eBook yet?

  3. Very insightful reflective questions.
    “Are my children experiencing the best part of me?” I need to spend more time reflecting on this particular question and implementing necessary adjustments.
    You are blessed.

    1. Ufuoma Fijabi says:

      I am glad you get to reflect on one of the questions. It is so important for us as mothers to sometimes ask reflective questions to help us refocus on our motherhood journey. Thank you for stopping by.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *